Should I just end it here?

I wish I was born a ''special child'', so I will be exceptionally exempted from this individualistic world. I would have a tiny world of my own where worries and anxieties are all beyond boundaries. These are all only WISHES THAT WILL NEVER COME TRUE.

*lost for words*

I can't cope with pressure. Parents seems to want the best in their children. Even as a kid, I was exposed with presure, in sports and in studies. Of course the type of pressure then was very low. But, as they see we can cope, they increase their expectations, and the pressure level increases. I think the pressure exerted on me can cause deformation to all parts of my body. Grr. Yes, I believe to excel in something, there must be an exerting force but must it be so high till it can cause damage? Sigh.

The worst phrase of this week, 'as long as you're staying under our supervision, everything we say you do it and listen.' AWESOME PHRASE. I hope one day they would say ' I want you to jump off a cliff.' I would be delighted to do it.

Where is the freedom? Look, even parents has this concept that :-

EDUCATION + MONEY + WORK = A COMPLETE LIFE.

I think its old-school man.

I mean, the university I got has world ranking and is recognized world-wide, why in the world do you want me to go to some top in the world university. I know my limits. You know my limits, but just would not want to accept or I don't get your reason. Its much easier last time. Now the world is revolving, everything changes. No use comparing your good old days.

Would you spend extra money if I can't cope in some top uni to repeat a semester? I know you woudn't mind, as you will say its for my future. But, I really do not want to waste such money for qualifications that I know is pushing my limits, though you have the money. Money is NOT everything. Losing my pride re-doing a whole year again is more costly than your money. I don't want to have this concept that money can buy me ANYTHING. It is rubbish. I may not be the smartest of peoples, sorry to dissapoint you, but I promise and know that I will make it well in my future.

Money is just essential to get you through life. We must not let money live in us and monopolized our inner self. People often can't control themselves, leading to money controlling them, which is stupid.
For example, I had this friend when I was 10. We were swimming partners under the same coach. Sooner than we realised, we bacame rivals, as we grew older. Her parents opted her to train under a more expensive training centre, as they thought that would make her improve a lot better. I remained. I mean I don't see the use of changing as both training centres has the same facilities. So did her parents money pay off? Guess not. I had better timings than her and we were no longer neck to neck. Therefore, I believe, sometimes money does not pay. Its when you're happy doing what you want best in the place you enjoy most.

*such a stressful life*
*should i just end it here?* sigh!