"FRIENDSHIP IS A PLANT OF SLOW GROWTH AND MUST UNDERGO AND WITHSTAND THE SHOCKS OF ADVERSITY BEFORE IT IS ENTITLED TO THE APPELLATION."

~George Washington (First President of USA)~

"BE BRAVE. TAKE RISKS. NOTHING CAN SUBSTITUTE EXPERIENCE."

Triple 9

09/09/09

My favaurite single digit number. Haha.

So, what was I suppose to do on this day? Hmm...it did not happen actually. I dare not take chances with my life. Its too risky, in case stuff don't get along well.

What I did instead was, went on a road trip to Semenyih. Lol. Saw loads of palm trees. Very mesmerizing indeed. Of course I'm joking. Well, the area is VERY deserted. Why am I spending my time at a deserted area? Haha. I was just accompanying a friend. It was fun though, not boring, so I'm happy. Saw a signboard which says "RENT/SALE" on a tree. It's so funny the fact that somebody is renting a tree or rather selling it. *randomness*

I'm just typing, like I'm talking to myself. So, if you don't get it, don't bother. =)

Actually, all I wanted to say on this post is, "I've fallen for you, but I think I'm just not ready because you have not given me assurance. So sorry, its not happening."

That's all. I'm happy I finally said it. Hope you understand the situation. =)

Thanks and bye-bye!

~There is a magnet in your heart that will attract true friends. That magnet is unselfishness, thinking of others first. When you learn to live for others, they will live for you.~

dedicated to true friends. you know who you are. if im living my life for you, then yes, I consider you as true friends. Cheers mates!

Kim

Frust!!!!

I hate helping people, when you end up getting scolded by them. Not exactly scolded, but they sound uninterested and pissed. Like what the hell is their problem. So frustrating. And I call them friends. Hmm.. Should be temporary friends.

~its really getting on my nerves~

Growing Up.....

.....full of dreams.

I have so many dreams in life. I wish I could be more decisive and choose ONE path, and create more dreams and opportunities from that ONE path.

Currently, I have made so many crossroads, forkroads, junctions, dead-end, whatever roads u can think of, is exactly what my life is like right now.

Crossroads : I can't see to decide what do I really want to do. The more courses I look at, the more it interest me.

Forkroads : Once there is an opportunity, I failed to seize the moment. Such a failure I am.

Junctions : This is pathetic. It comes to decision all over again. Instead of moving forward in making the choice, I turn back, like a car reversing...too fast...and then thrown off a cliff.

Dead-end : This is the most horrible one. Oh, america....I made you my dead-end. Regret? Nah, I cannot. Its dead-end already.

What else roads are there? Winding road? Slippery road? Muddy road? Potholes along the way...sigh! When will I get to walk this life on a straight road where the light is? Where I know my journey and ending? Hmm...

So much of growing up full of dreams. The consequences I'm facing is so unbearable.

Lost?

I THINK I'M SUFFERING FROM INTERNAL DEPRESSION. I'M LOSING FOCUS ON EVERYTHING I DO LATELY. BUT I KNOW THERE IS STILL HOPE. THE LORD WILL PUT ME BACK ON TRACK. I HAVE FAITH IN THAT.

*the heart hurts badly*

*the soul lose contact with the body*

*lost?* indeed i am.

By next week, I hope I can say : "I was lost but now I am found"

The author feels emo as she cannot cope with challenges she's facing this time round in her life.

Future

Regret making so many wrong choices.

GOD, I need your help. I know you have always been there for me, but I was too ignorant and think I can handle things on my own. Show me the light, oh Lord!

~My God is mighty to save~

Kim

"I NEED INSPIRATION NOT ANOTHER NEGOTIATION."

"I'M REFRAINING FROM CHOCOLATES AND ICE-CREAMS FOR 40 DAYS."

Should I just end it here?

I wish I was born a ''special child'', so I will be exceptionally exempted from this individualistic world. I would have a tiny world of my own where worries and anxieties are all beyond boundaries. These are all only WISHES THAT WILL NEVER COME TRUE.

*lost for words*

I can't cope with pressure. Parents seems to want the best in their children. Even as a kid, I was exposed with presure, in sports and in studies. Of course the type of pressure then was very low. But, as they see we can cope, they increase their expectations, and the pressure level increases. I think the pressure exerted on me can cause deformation to all parts of my body. Grr. Yes, I believe to excel in something, there must be an exerting force but must it be so high till it can cause damage? Sigh.

The worst phrase of this week, 'as long as you're staying under our supervision, everything we say you do it and listen.' AWESOME PHRASE. I hope one day they would say ' I want you to jump off a cliff.' I would be delighted to do it.

Where is the freedom? Look, even parents has this concept that :-

EDUCATION + MONEY + WORK = A COMPLETE LIFE.

I think its old-school man.

I mean, the university I got has world ranking and is recognized world-wide, why in the world do you want me to go to some top in the world university. I know my limits. You know my limits, but just would not want to accept or I don't get your reason. Its much easier last time. Now the world is revolving, everything changes. No use comparing your good old days.

Would you spend extra money if I can't cope in some top uni to repeat a semester? I know you woudn't mind, as you will say its for my future. But, I really do not want to waste such money for qualifications that I know is pushing my limits, though you have the money. Money is NOT everything. Losing my pride re-doing a whole year again is more costly than your money. I don't want to have this concept that money can buy me ANYTHING. It is rubbish. I may not be the smartest of peoples, sorry to dissapoint you, but I promise and know that I will make it well in my future.

Money is just essential to get you through life. We must not let money live in us and monopolized our inner self. People often can't control themselves, leading to money controlling them, which is stupid.
For example, I had this friend when I was 10. We were swimming partners under the same coach. Sooner than we realised, we bacame rivals, as we grew older. Her parents opted her to train under a more expensive training centre, as they thought that would make her improve a lot better. I remained. I mean I don't see the use of changing as both training centres has the same facilities. So did her parents money pay off? Guess not. I had better timings than her and we were no longer neck to neck. Therefore, I believe, sometimes money does not pay. Its when you're happy doing what you want best in the place you enjoy most.

*such a stressful life*
*should i just end it here?* sigh!

More To Life

Its a wet September to begin with. Perfect time to sleep, but I'm stuck at this beautiful office place...working.

I think September this year means 'Decision making' for me.

Why?
Because I have to decide whether I want to go abroad or do a twinning course here. If I do a twinning course, I HAVE to start this month. I'm always a last minute decider, which dangers my future.
Wow. I feel like I have some adrenaline rush.

Let's talk about life instead. (see here, I'm just typing like I'm talking to myself, so bare with me)

What do most people want in their life?
A simple answer : Most people want to have a good education, then later secure a good job that pays handsomely, then have a family, then work work work till they are old, then enjoy life going on holidays and stuff like that, and finally, DIE.

Are you one of the MOST PEOPLE?
I admit, this is the life journey I've imagined and was working towards it. Now, my conception about life changed. I want to be different from others.
Life is more than just education, work and money. I am not saying these 3 things are not important, but we DON'T NEED TO MAKE IT SEEM THAT THIS 3 THINGS IS LIFE.

Well, if you did not do well in education, does not means you are an outcast. If you don't get a job with big companies that pay big fat cheques, it does not means that you're a failure. Lastly, MONEY IS NOT EVERYTHING. After all, we cannot bring these 3 things with us when our life ends.

Let's now imagine why God created us? Did He put us all here on the place called Earth to see how we all compete against each other in EDUCATION, WORK AND MONEY? Did He want to see who is the smartest among His creation? Definitely NOT. Because in the Bible, it says, God created each and everyone of us uniquely and different.

So, I'm challenging myself and also others who agree with this, to DARE TO BE DIFFERENT.

Kim

~Your life is what you're making of it. To change your life, you need to change your priorities.~

Love or Like?

In front of the person you love, your heart beats faster.
But in front of the person you like, you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is just a beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you love, you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you like, you smile.

In front of the person you love, you can' t say everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you like, you can.

In front of the person you love, you tend to get shy.
But in front of the person you like, you can show your ownself.

The person you love comes into your mind every 2 minutes.
You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you love.
But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you like.

When the one you love is crying, you cry with them.
But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye.
And the feeling of like starts from the ear.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like, all you need to do is cover your ears,
But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever after.

Kim

~In my wildest dreams, you always play the hero. In my darkest hour of night, you rescue me, you save my life~